We're All Going On A HIVE Road Trip
by RecusantMaverick
Summary: With Otto driving a huge monster jeep, the only question is: Can you get out of the way?


**H.I.V.E Road Trip**

** A/N: What really happened in Zero Hour when they drove to GCHQ. One slight change - Otto is driving, and the car is a monster Jeep.**

"OK kids!" Nero said," Steal a car and meet me at the super secret GCHQ. Be subtle. See ya!"

It started off well. A road trip - what could possibly go wrong? The first indicator of doom was when Shelby began to sing.

"Two hundred and fifty six green bottles, hanging upon a wall!"

The second indicator, of course, was when the Jeep obliterated its first major landmark, which happened to be the Shard.

"We're on a highhhwayyy to hell !" sang Otto.

"We will be in a minute!" Shelby warned.

"Part of the fun!" said Otto.

"'Steal a monster jeep' he said, 'It'll be fun', he said," Laura observed.

Otto had, in typical Otto style, stolen a gigantic monster jeep. Unfortunately, he was proving a worse driver than even Laura, who'd virtually destroyed the H.I.V.E driver training course, and a terrible driver plus a huge car equals carnage. Otto had already proved this theory.

The jeep careered down the motorway, smashing into a few cars, but hey - they did have Green Flag insurance, Otto pointed out. It rammed down the concrete barrier in the middle of the road, and continued on its violent rampage.

Wing clung on with a vice like grip. He was muttering various curses under his breath. The ninja looked at the very long list of destruction upon the screen.

"Otto, your current destruction count stands at: one village, two motorways, roughly ninety seven cars, sixty pedestrians(not killed, knocked out), fifty five cats, forty three dogs, forty two Daily Mail journalists, thirty Sun readers, twenty six statues..."

Fifteen minutes later.

"Two McDonalds, a KFC, and a Pizza Hut as well as a game of Cluedo, one power plant, BNP HQ and a superhero's favourite cat," finished Wing.

"Yeah! New high score!" cheered Otto," I wanna get higher!"

The jeep shot off down the motorway at three times the speed limit, knocking down six cars.

A few minutes later, Otto reached a McDonalds.

"Drive thru!" he said.

The other occupants of the car entered the brace position. Lucy had tried to stop Otto, but mind control seemed to have no effect upon the crazy albino.

The jeep plowed into the car park, smashing a few extra cars for extra effect value. He headed for the drive-thru, having the effect of a tank upon the cars parked. The jeep smashed into the McDonalds with an earth-shaking crash, sending glass, wall and the 'M' into the road.

"Otto, you do know drive-thru means drive through the little road, not the whole McDonalds, don't you?" yelled Lucy.

"Don't be silly," said Otto, continuing driving through the McDonalds.

"What do you guys want?" asked Otto.

The others broke out of their shock to give their orders to him.

"Okey dokey, that's one Happy Meal with chicken nuggets and Coke for me."

Cue sniggers from some of the H.I.V.E crew, met with evil glares.

"Two Big Macs, one with Coke, one with Sprite. One Chicken McNuggets. One huge cheeseburger, for 99p or I'll kill you, with Coke. That's it, oh, apart from one virtual cheeseburger, can't forget H.I.V.E mind," ordered Otto.

The AI was currently hiding, repeating 'deadly collision imminent' and '...'.

"Unfortunately Mr Crazy-White-Haired-Kid, we do not serve people who drive straight through our McDonalds," replied the manager.

"Please," said Otto.

"Okay," said the manager.

Once the orders were taken, the Jeep drove off speedily, rocketing out of the area. Otto stopped it, and the H.I.V.E crew sighed with relief and retrieved their McDonalds meals.

Twenty minutes later.

Otto was happily playing with his new toy, while the rest of the H.I.V.E crew finished their McDonalds. The others made a swift lunge for the car. Otto was quicker, however.

"Off we go!" he said.

"Nooooo!" yelled the H.I.V.E crew.

The car rumbled down the street, running over two cats and a dog as it turned onto a main road. H.I.V.E mind was virtually eating his virtual cheeseburger slowly, still slightly catatonic after the horrific, destructive run. He appeared to be in shock.

Otto was grinning like a crazy white haired kid - oh wait, he is one (at least in badly written humour fics like this one). The albino's evil grin grew with every car smashed, every superhero crushed, with every pigeon destroyed and every potato fry( well, maybe potato) he put in it. The albino's driving did not get any better while eating, as was proved as Otto destroyed a new thing - it happened to be a pylon (which landed on a huge car carrying twenty Disciples, killing them all, well done Otto).

Thirty minutes later

The car finally came to a rest at GCHQ, smashing into the car park with a final huge crash. Nero actually yelped as it finally stopped, and he finished tracking the destruction.

"I said to be subtle! Not leave a huge trail of destruction everywhere!" yelled Nero.

Wing presented him with the list of destruction.

"That's a very long list, Mr Fanchu. I think I shall put you all in detention when we get back. Actually, we had a whole your Alpha year detention coming up, and it just happens to coincide with the same year Henchman detention. I think we'll put you all in the same room. It'll be interesting..."

**A/N: The idea for inter-stream warfare was first developed by **

**I'mTheGirlWhoLearnedToFly and Mosgem, who in collaboration wrote an amazing story called The Letter Is Mightier Than The Atomic Bomb, which if you haven't checked it out, you should. I'm using the idea of Alphas Vs Henchmen as a detention method, which may get a little out of Nero's control, but won't involve the SciTech or PoFl. The detention will be in a one-shot which will follow in the footsteps of Don't Put Otto In Detention, and will probably be called 'When Detentions Go Horribly Wrong', and will be the third in the Detention-themed oneshots I've written (the second being Even The Best Laid Plans Go Wrong). **


End file.
